Showing posts with label insane moments. Show all posts
Showing posts with label insane moments. Show all posts

Thursday, 10 July 2008

Jumping Out Of A Perfectly Good Airplane (Part 2)

PART 1


So here I was, climbing into this tiny little plane, that looked as though it was held together with No 8 fencing wire and a couple of sticks of chewing gum. The instructor had also just informed me that I was wearing the cargo chute.

That was the one with the flare point down around your knees.

This flaring thing is pretty important. It's how you slow down your chute while you're landing. It sort of makes the difference between landing softly like a piece of thistledown and strolling away or coming down with a big thump and breaking half the bones in your body!!

Oh and did I mention that this instructor was about 6' tall and I'm only 5' 1" ? Slight difference in length to knees there....

I climbed into the plane and was directed to sit on the floor by the pilot. The other people that were jumping with me were in the seats behind the pilot. I don't actually remember them, I was back in my dissociated, robot like trance by then.





The above folks, other than being a horrible photo, is what I look like when I'm really, really scared !!

I'm also not reciting the Pledge of Allegiance or trying to stop my heart jumping out of my chest. I'd been told to guard my ripcord handle, just in case someone stumbled over me as they were exiting the plane. Apparently they don't like your chute deploying while you're still in the plane! And yes, according to the instructor, that has been known to happen. So as you can see, I'm really concentrating hard on guarding that sucker. No chute was going to deploy on my watch. No Siree!!!

We got to 3500 ft. I was the last one to go. I have no conscious memory of the others exiting the plane. I also have no conscious memory of leaving the plane myself.



I did leave the plane. The photo above is proof that not only do I have short legs and a wide bum, but I am also capable of insane, 'I've lost my marbles','I don't believe I just did that' and 'What was I thinking' moments.

Yes. that's me. Standing OUTSIDE the plane, at 3500 ft, clutching on to the wing strut with one foot on the plane's wheel and the other leg hanging out there. That strap leading back to the plane, is the static line. The instructor is holding the other end of it. Once I'm away from the plane, he'll pull it and hopefully, my chute will open.

I'm at the point of no return. I can't clamber back into the plane and if I don't jump off the wheel after the instructor has told me twice to 'Go', the pilot will simply drop the wheel and I'll fall off.

The next few seconds are totally blank. I'm told that they did NOT have to drop the wheel as I fell forward into a good arch position. I do not remember that.

I was jerked back into reality, by my chute opening. I looked up and saw that I had a perfect canopy. My lines were slightly twisted, which I'd been told might happen. I kicked out a couple of times, and my lines untwisted, much like a swing's ropes do, when you've twisted them around.

How to find the words to describe how I felt and what I was experiencing ?

I was no longer scared. It was a very peaceful, floating sensation. There was also no noise, which rather surprised me. I was completely alone, with nothing for company but God's beautiful, wide open, blue sky.

Nowadays, when I look up and see a bird, soaring and gliding on the air currents, I understand what it is like to be that bird. To soar, to be free, to be pillowed by the air, to fly. It's a feeling, an experience like no other....

Unfortunately, reality soon intruded and I realised that the earth was considerably closer than it had been a few minutes ago. Time to start flying myself toward the landing zone (LZ).

The LZ was a small field that was bounded on one side by a tall barbed wire fence, on the other by power lines and on the third by everyone's vehicles. The fourth side was open to the desert.

In the center of the field there was a large target. This was what we were supposed to aim for and land on. Beside the target was a big arrow that could be turned to guide us in. At the side of the field was a tall pole. Once we got to the height of this pole, 10 ft IIRC, we were then to flare in preparation for landing gently on our feet.

It quickly became apparent to me, that the guy running the arrow, was not taking into account how slow my chute was to turn. He'd have the arrow pointed in one direction, I'd slowly turn and while that was happening, I'd notice that he'd swung the arrow around in at least two other directions.

At that point, I was really concerned about the possibility of flying into the power lines, fence or vehicles, given how hard my chute was to control. So I decided to take the other option and land out in the desert.

While this eliminated the obstacles, it also left me with no flare point reference. As a result, I flared to high and also did a low level turn. All that pretty much guarantees a hard landing, injury and the possibility of death.

Back at the LZ, a group were already in a truck and on their way out to me, before I'd even landed. They told me later, that it was one of the scariest landing they'd ever witnessed and they were fully expecting to find me injured or worse.

I remember thinking that the earth was getting pretty close, so perhaps it was time to flare. I was a little surprised that I didn't appear to be slowing down as much as they described I would and I remember clearly thinking 'S**t this is going to hurt' and 'Please God, please don't let there be any rattle snakes down there'.

Then I hit the ground, hard and rolled. The fact that I went into a roll as I hit, was probably what saved me from nothing more than a few aches and pains and a couple of rather spectacular bruises.

Would I ever skydive again? You gotta be kidding me !! Absolutely NOT !! You think I have a death wish or something???

Do I regret sky diving? No, I don't. It was an incredible experience and one that I will remember for the rest of my life.

Even if I do get sweaty palms just thinking about it. :-)

Thursday, 26 June 2008

Jumping Out Of A Perfectly Good Airplane (Part 1)

So why would a sane person do something like that, I hear you ask. Believe me, that's a question, 12 years after the event, that I'm still asking myself.

A mid-life crisis? My kids drove me to it? Peri-menopause ? Temporary insanity? Forgot that if I was meant to fly then God would have given me wings?

Don't get the wrong idea about me. I'm not some sort of adrenaline junkie. Honest!!

' You are Elinor Dashwood of Sense & Sensibility! You are practical, circumspect, and discreet. Though you are tremendously sensible and allow your head to rule, you have a deep, emotional side that few people often see.'

That is a pretty good description of me. However, occasionally, Laura Croft swims up from my 'deep, emotional side' and I find myself doing something .... ummmmmm .... different.

So, in late June, 1994, I found myself out at Stead airfield, about to start a short training session on how to fall to an early death skydive.

Have I mentioned that I have a very pronounced fear of heights? I mean, I get sweaty palms and feel dizzy, just standing on a kitchen chair!

Have I also mentioned that this was not doing to be a tandem jump? Or an AFF (accelerated free fall)? Noooooooo ... me being temporarily Laura Croft, this was going to be a static line jump. That's where you exit the plane, on your own, and an instructor holds a cord that is attached to the ripcord on your parachute. After a couple of seconds, he pulls the cord and, hopefully, your chute opens. Other than that, you're on your own.

We spent the morning practicing jumping off a low platform and practicing our landings. Not a good thing to be doing, when your bladder is weakened by having kids! Fortunately, I came prepared. That is something for you all to keep in mind, if you ever have the urge to jump out of a plane or go bungee jumping or something equally as stupid...

We hung from the rafters of the hanger, in a harness and practiced how to cutaway our main chute, in the event of a major malfunction, and deploy our reserve. I got that move down pat!

We lay on the floor and practiced the position we needed to be in when we stepped off the plane's wheel. Ummmm, run that one past me again. You did say 'step off the plane's wheel????

Our instructor explained that when we left the plane, we would be balancing on the strut and the wheel. Did I mention that we would be at about 3500 ft while all this was going on? The instructor would then shout 'Go' and we would fall forward in an arched position. He would only shout 'Go' twice and if we didn't jump, then the pilot would drop the wheel and we would fall off. Now I did mention that this would be all taking place at 3500 ft, didn't I ???

Lastly he explained all about a chute, how it worked, how to identify that we had a good canopy above us, how to untangle the lines, how to steer it and how to flare as we landed.

At the end of all this, he counted heads and then said that one of us would be getting a cargo chute and that there were a few things about this chute that we would need to know, including that the flare point would be down around our knees and not at hip point, like with the other chutes. He said that it might also be a little harder to steer, so we'd have to make allowances for that. Shortening the steering lines by wrapping it around our hands, was his suggestion. He said that he would let the person, who was wearing the cargo chute, know as they boarded the plane.

Finally, lessons were over and the big moment arrived. We were about to climb in the van to go out to the execution field airfield, when we were told that it was now to windy to jump today, so we were to come back tomorrow morning.

Next morning, bright and early, chutes in hand, we boarded the van that was going too
take us out to the plane. A this point it was like I was on autopilot. I'd stopped questioning my sanity. I'd stopped asking myself what I was doing here. I'd simply stopped thinking ...

We put on our chutes. The instructors came around and made sure our harnesses were tight and fastened securely. Their cheery 'Well, we haven't had anybody fall out of one of these yet' didn't even phase me. I really was in robot mode...

That was, until as I was climbing on the plane and the instructor whispered in my ear, 'By the way, you have the cargo chute.' ......

Part 2