Wednesday, 14 May 2008

A creep, a rant and some emotion....

J often mentions, when I'm recounting my latest adventure/escapade/mishap, that 'You and C (daughter) seem to be a magnet for trouble!!'

Well, DUH, I do try to walk between 6 - 10 miles a day. I also use our city bus service, so of course the likelihood is higher that strange things are going to happen!!

Today, I was trotting around Virginia Lake, which is about 3/4 of a mile from my home. It's a nice place to go for a walk, as it has a path going around it that is just over a mile in length. One WW member recently mentioned that she's measured the outer path at about 1 1/4 miles.

Unfortunately, it also attracts the occasional creep, especially earlier in the morning. Today was no exception.

Creep sitting in car beside the path.

First time past him "Hey, you want to go for coffee?" Me, to myself, 'Oh, pee off!!'

Second time past him "Hey, I like sweaty women, they turn me on". Me, to myself, while rolling my eyes 'Oh great, we have a right charlie here.'

Third time past him "Hey, I like sweaty, fat, women, they really turn me on." Okay, that did it. This time to him, with my hands on my hips "Your pickup lines suck, you have the sex appeal of a gnat and if you are still here when I come around again, I'm calling the police."

Needless to say, when I came around for the fourth time he had gone.

What is it with men like this? What on earth are they thinking when they do this type of thing. Do they really, truly believe that most women are interested? It's not even as if I was wearing something revealing. I had a loose pair of comfortable track pants on and a t-shirt that was too big for me and way past it's prime. Even if I was wearing shorts and a skimpy top, that still does not give any man the right to push any unwanted attention on me. Yes, I do know that all men are not like this. I have a good one at home and I am Mum to boys that have grown into wonderful men.

I am proud of myself, though. In the past, an incident like this would have been enough to have me reaching for the packet of cookies, bag of chips or other food that would have comforted me. I would not have stopped until the bag was empty. Because of my history, food was my security blanket. My fat was something I could hide behind. It made me invisible. It made me safe. That was my perception, anyway.

This time, I came home, had a large glass of water, an apple and a slice of 1% cheese.Pretty cool, huh !! :-)

I'm not going to go into details of my past here, even though I am very open about it. Suffice to say, I am a survivor. I survived a horrible, abusive childhood. I went on to survive rape and DV. It's not something I am ashamed of. In many ways it's made me a stronger and wiser woman. I've been able to use my experiences to help other women and men, who have been victimised.

I feel empowered by the fact that I can say that I'm proud of myself. I know that there are still going to be times when the ghosts of the past will try to trip me up and there will probably be times in which they will succeed.

However, today, after an unpleasant experience, I came home and ate only what I had planned to eat, before I left on my walk. That feels, really, really good! :-)


2 comments: Lose 80 Pounds said...

I don't understand how some people can be so gross. There was a report on the news that a guy had exposed himself to a morning jogger along on the most popular trails in our my husband and I like to take our dog for a walk along. I'm sorry you encountered him, but you're a strong soul!

I, too, am a survivor...but *only* of DV. I was w/my abuser from May '96 to January '2000. After many bruises, a bloody nose and a dislocated jaw, I was finally able to break away from him. I still have nightmares though and wake up either completely out of breath or screaming. I'm lucky to have a very understanding and supportive husband, who by the way treats me like gold. I thank God every day for him.

I'm glad that you are in a safe place now.

Toni said...

Sounds like the guy had the mentality of a 14-yr-old. I think you used great restraint! Both during the encounter and then again after. Way to go.

BTW, 6-10 miles a day?! You are my hero! How long does it take you to walk that? How long did it take you to work your way up to that mileage?

I think I'm up to about 2-3 miles a day. You have inspired me to increase it (some day).